I've been raised as the middle child all of my life. There's a saying that the middle child will most likely be treated differently than the other children; less attention. I have proof that this saying is undoubtedly true! During middle school I made very poor actions when it comes to my younger brother. We never really got along. I had somewhat of a wall between him and me. One day i decided to make one ridiculous move and that changed the rest of my life in a flash. That one night I decided to hit my brother on the head with paper that was rolled up. Instead of that paper softly taping his thick black hair, it made a u-turn and went straight towards his eye. A jolt came running through my mind knowing that i hurt the poor child. I instantly wrapped my arms tightly around my brother, swaying back and forth, apologizing for the foolish act I've made. With his cries echoing through the empty halls of the 2 story, 4 bedroom house, my mother came running in. With out hesitation, harsh and violent words were thrown out of her mouth straight into my ears. The rest I'd like to keep to myself. Let's just say that from that day on, nothing was ever the same again. Day by day I attempted to make my parents happy. I was always being compared to my sister. She''s special to them, she's their "perfect" daughter. She's the one receiving that 4.0 on the report cards, or just higher than what i get. Yes, it's very typical for the youngest child to be compared to the oldest, especially when the oldest is clearly smarter. But comparing myself to my sister is my parents daily routine. It's their job to furnish my mind about not being as great as my sister. I have to be reminded day and night as if i'm not already aware of it. I have reached a point in my life that i don't seem to mind that this is happening, but when it comes down to the "favorite" child, it's distinctly established that i will never be one of them. Apparently, my younger brother and my older sister are their "favorite." Just to make everything more intolerable they tend to be given 3/4 of everything they want. But me? As of me, i get about 1/4 of what i want. Reguardless of what i want or need, i cannot tolerate how my mother will be quick to assume about every wrong doing. If something is missing from her room, office, kitchen, or anywhere as a matter of fact, a light bulb flips on in her head. She will automatically shout my name. Whether or not I did take something, I'm always the first to be called. If we both go through almost a day without clashing heads, before bed time, she will find away to shout at me. It's pathetic how she will literally search for some way to say something to me that will get me so heated. And just to top that all off, i can't even stay in the same room with her for more than 30 minutes. There will be some talking which will probably lead me to getting furious with her. I don't want to risk the chance of mad, then coming into my room, being way to agitated to do anything. All i could possibly do is yell, scream, and dance my heart out on the floor. There's times when i can't escape from this world, so i'd cry, but i haven't done that in quite some time. This is literally pathetic. I see my parents on average about 30-40 minutes a day. I'm not exaggerating. This isn't something i would ever joke about. My relationship with my parents is a serious matter. I will be offended if you talk shit about my relationship with them without my consult. I love to hate my parents and I hate to love them. It's a love-hate relationship. I do understand that hate is very powerful and indecisive word, it's not like i could change back and change what happened. I do not wish to. Without the drama between us, I will most likely not be the same person as i am now. I've become more independent, more on track with my life. Whether i have their support or not. They say they do, but they sure don't act like it. They've tried to plan out my life, to bad they never will. They know i have my own personal view on what i want to do, i'm just not sure yet. If it has to do with going to school and getting big money, they'll approve immediately. but when it comes to other things such as dance, not so much. I'm still on this dance team because i know how to manage my time about school and dance. I can juggle anything. Dance, AP, and 2 honors classes is a lot to handle and without a doubt, it comes with the stress. The stress, the headaches, the migrains, whatever it is i've probably dealt with it. I can manage all of this and still be able to earn up to 5 A's and a B-C at this point in time, AND to top that off, still be able to hang out with friends almost every weekend! Impressive huh? No not really, you just have to think smart about everything, and ask yourself, "can i really do this? am i up to the challange?" I'm most definitely motivated. Even after doing all this, i still don't know what i want to do as i grow older. I'm hoping next year be able to take 2 running start classes, english and history. Then also take another 3-4 classes at Lynnwood, intergrated 3 honors, spanish 2, adv. photography, and possibly AP bio. AP Bio is still a question mark. Oh yeah, plus i'm still going to do dance, of course. Yes that's going to be a tough schedule, but i'm up to the challenge. I won't give up. Photography and dance i'll be doing untill the day i graduate high school. And I will most likely continue with dance classes and making photography my hobby. I look past the present and into the future. I need to imagine what i'm getting myself into. So, you tell me, will you ever have a life like mines? before you answer, this isn't even one fourth of my life and don't even start feeling sorry for me. If it wasn't for all this stuff happening to me, I probably wouldn't be as strong as I am now. ;]
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